How to write a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech about the person, given at the service. Start by writing down memories, pick two or three stories that show who they were, and put them between a short opening (who you are and how you knew them) and a short goodbye. Most eulogies run 3–5 minutes, which is about 400–650 words when read aloud.

You don’t have to be a good writer or a good speaker. People remember a eulogy that sounds like the person who gave it.

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Updated October 27, 2026

Step by step

1. Ask how long you have

Check with the officiant or the family. Three to five minutes is typical. If several people are speaking, you may have less.

2. Write down memories

Set a timer for 15 minutes and write down everything that comes to mind: things they said, things they always did, a trip, a meal, the way they answered the phone. Don’t sort it yet. Ask a brother, a friend or a grandchild for one memory each. You’ll get stories you didn’t know.

3. Pick two or three stories

Look at your list and circle the stories that show who they were. Two or three is enough. A eulogy that tries to cover a whole life in five minutes ends up as a list of dates, and the obituary already has those.

4. Put it in order

Use the structure below. It works for almost anyone.

5. Write it the way you talk

Short sentences. Plain words. If you wouldn’t say a sentence out loud to a friend, rewrite it. Use their name often. “Dad” or “Grandma Rose” is warmer than “he” or “she.”

6. Read it aloud and time it

Read it out loud with a timer running, at the speed you would use in a quiet room. A common estimate is about 130 spoken words a minute, and slower is better at a funeral. If it runs long, cut a story rather than rushing.

7. Print a reading copy

Print it in large type, with wide spacing and a gap between paragraphs. See the tips for reading it aloud below.

A eulogy structure you can fill in

1. Who you are. “For those who don’t know me, I’m Sarah, Ruth’s oldest granddaughter.”
2. One line about them. The thing everyone would agree on. “Grandma Ruth never let anyone leave her house hungry.”
3. First story. A memory that shows that line in action.
4. Second story. A different side of them: funny, stubborn, brave, quiet.
5. A third story, if you have time. Often something about their family or faith.
6. What they gave you. A habit, a saying or a lesson you carry now.
7. Goodbye. Speak to them or about them. “Thank you, Grandma. We’ll keep the kettle on.”

For full examples written this way, see our eulogy examples.

How long a eulogy should be

• 3 minutes: about 400 words
• 4 minutes: about 520 words
• 5 minutes: about 650 words

These figures use about 130 words a minute. Many people slow down when they are emotional, so if you read slowly, aim for the lower end. Keep it under 10 minutes in any case.

Tips for reading it aloud

• Print it in large type, 16 to 18 point or bigger, with double spacing. You will be reading through tears and maybe under poor light.
• Mark where to pause. A slash or a line break after each story gives you a place to breathe.
• Put a glass of water at the lectern, or ask someone to hand you one.
• Ask someone to be your backup reader, and give them a copy. If you can’t go on, nod to them. Nobody will mind.
• Practice it out loud at least twice, once in front of someone.
• Look up at the end of each story. You don’t need eye contact the whole time.
• If you cry, stop, breathe and carry on. People expect it.

The $29 “everything for the service” bundle includes your eulogy as a large-print reading copy, set ready to print.

A note for Catholic funerals

A traditional Catholic funeral Mass has no eulogy. Words of remembrance are kept short, and some parishes move them to the vigil the night before or to the reception. Ask the parish before you write. More on this in what goes in a funeral program.

Questions

Related guides

• Eulogy examples: five samples, for a mother, a father, a grandparent, a friend and a spouse
• Funeral poems and readings: a reading to end your eulogy with
• How to write an obituary: if you are writing that too

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